What's
happening my single brotha's! Being single got ya blue? Does the female species elude you
causing massive moments of elucid frustration? Seeking a few ideas on how to meet the perfect girl
using online personals? How to make that important first impression that beats out the competition?
Well Mi' Amigo, you hit the motherlode and we'd love to help insure your
success! You'll find many examples of personal ads we have used for our matchmaking services that
resulted in tremendous responses for our male clients. Remember, women are more attracted to manners
and sensitivity then nice butts, legs or bla bla, like us dudes. If you take the time to create a
"masterpiece" profile that's written with how girls interpret feelings,
you'll be amazed at the result. There's literally millions of single girls out crusing the online
personals, but they tend to be very fussy as to whom they ever might drop a line. These tips should give you
the ultimate edge!
Here are some guidelines for writing effective personal ads:
INVESTMENT. Decide that this is worth spending some time on, or don't bother. You wouldn't submit a
sloppy resume, would you? This is about making a good first impression, because there will be no
second chance once someone clicks to the next ad.
MARKETING. You are marketing yourself... trying to stand out in a crowd. You are the "product." and
the people you want to meet are your customers. Think about who you want to meet, and then think
about who THEY want to meet! How can you tell them that YOU are the person they want to meet?
Magazine ads, for example, grab your attention, make you laugh, they make you think "wow, what a
great thing... I want to buy it." They can be short, but pack a punch. If they are long, they tell
a good story. Marketers test their different ad campaigns, and you should, too. Try placing
different ads to see what gets you a better result.
PREPARATION. Before you log in anywhere, do some thinking and writing. Don't wait until you are
faced with a blinking cursor to write your blurb. Give serious thought to how you will describe
yourself and the person you hope to find. Write at least two paragraphs, one about yourself, and
one about the person you seek. Ask someone you trust to read those paragraphs and comment on how
well they reflect who you are and what you want. Save that text to cut and paste into dating
website forms. Have a digital photo or two ready.
OPENING HEADLINES. Use your username... don't be Bob3456... be PaintBallPrincess or SecretSuperHero or
something else that reflects your sense of humor and yourself. If the ad allows you a "subject
line" also use that well... "Need woman in Atlanta" doesn't cut it. "Atlanta man on a mission"
sounds more interesting. "Atlanta Knight seeks his Queen" tells a different story about who you are
seeking. Use your username and subject line to hook people into your ad. Use humor, drama, a funky
metaphor. Then, like any good ad, you want to show them you are what they need, show them why you
are unique, and invite them to take action... by emailing you!
IN THE DETAILS. Write in complete sentences. Spelling and grammar DO count. We have modern tools to help
with that. You want to look like you find this task important enough to spell out the words. Unless
you are 15 years old, writing "If u r inrested n me, wrt 2 me" makes you LOOK 15 years old. ALL
CAPS IS LIKE SHOUTING... don't. It is actually harder to read.
HONESTY = BEST POLICY. If you are not honest with yourself and others, you will not find happiness in the
personals. Are you married? You know, people CAN figure that out and will resent the lie more than
the wedding ring. Without making any value judgements, putting down "married" will not necessarily
stop you from finding matches. If you are just looking for a casual date, don't imply that you are
looking for marriage just to get more email... it wastes everyone's time. If you are looking for a
long-term thing, don't think you can "convince" a casual date to spend more time with you. You are
asking for disappointment. Try completing this sentence: "In a year, I'd like to see us doing...."
STRINGS. Guys, I see many you making a crucial mistake in your profiles. You will find that women
are seldom looking for a "no strings relationship." There simply is no such thing... if it is a
relationship, it has strings of SOME sort. If you don't want strings, you are looking for an escort
service. Women of any description can find casual physical relationships without lifting a finger
to a keyboard. Don't lie, but think about which "strings" are okay with you. "Seeking Torrid Summer
Romance" is fine and honest. So is, "I am not eager to move in or get married. I want to have a
regular date for parties and cookouts with my friends." Ladies, this counts for you, too. If your
personal ad sounds like you might be offering paid sexual services, you are going to get some rude
offers. You might avoid phrases like, "looking for a wealthy man with good taste in jewelry."
BEYOND PHYSICAL. Have you ever really dated someone just for their eye color? OK, maybe you have
spectacular eyeballs. But ads tend to reel off personal stats... and then stop there, as though
there were nothing but a body. Most personal sites let you click things to describe your eyes,
hair, and height... don't waste valuable profile space on your hair. Talk about who you are first,
and what you look like at the end. Want to know the number one thing surveyed women look for in a
guy? A sense of humor.
AVOID NEGATIVES. This is not the place to list all the things that drove you crazy about your ex
and how you won't put up with that again. Don't list what you don't want... discuss what you DO
want. Turn your own lifestyle quirks into positives, not obstacles. Workaholic? Try, "My career
keeps me very busy, so I need someone with a flexible schedule for spontaneous one-day adventures."
Frugal to a fault? Try "I find it amusing to squeeze a nickel 'til it screams... help me research
for my web column "CheapDates for CheapSkates." Worried people will regard your children as an
obstacle? "My family is very important to me and I hope to find someone that will enjoy the
attention of a warm family circle."
POST A FRICKIN' PHOTO. Website statistics show that an ad with a photo is 80% more likely to get a response.
A photo that shows you relaxed and having fun, no matter what you look like, is even better. Don't
use a photo that isn't current.. it isn't worth looking so insecure, or being rejected later. Don't
rush to ask for a photo... you may look like a "pic trader," someone who is collecting photos
rather than looking for a real date. Don't stress about your looks... attraction is about more than
looks. Yes, we often are first attracted to someone by looks, when we meet in person. But on the
Internet, if you seem like a jerk, you won't get the chance to meet in person.
LIFE STAGES. People often say that "age" is not as important as "life stage." Where are you in your
life? Just starting out in a new career? Settled into life with kids? Empty-nesting? Exploring new
interests? These are things that matter. Talk about what is important in your life. "I am
established in my career and now turning my attention to the great books I never had time to read."
"I moved to this state for a job after college, and I am looking for dates with a lot of
outdoors-loving friends to help me build a sporty new social circle."
FAVORITE THINGS. Listing ALL your favorite things is dizzying.. Choose one good example and talk
about why you like it. Choose something that gives the reader an insight into what you enjoy. You
want people to be able to spot things you have in common, but also feel that there is something new
and interesting to learn about you. Interest them in learning more with a "teaser" about something
fascinating about you. Ask a question for them to answer in the reply email.
BASIC RULES. Never... NEVER include your last name, phone number or address. Observe the rules of the
various websites... some do not allow you to post web addresses or email addresses. Many prohibit
crude language or sexual references. Getting your ad removed by breaking rules is a waste of time.
Study these Creative Personal Ads and Use the concept for your personals!
Notice the flair, humor and wit that made these ads so effective. Women responded to these personals because
they convey a sense of humor and playful intelligence. I don't care what you look like, if you can make the right girl
laugh and giggle, she's yours for life.
Create a 'grabber perk' headline, simply a single descriptive line that
is first read along with your foto designed to attract attention to your ad. Avoid the typical,
mundane 'DWF, 44, seeks nice stable man'....bla bla bla ... you and 20 million others fit this
description. Humor works wonders. Scan other ads and see which ones attract your attention.
Some Real Kick Ass Grabber Headlines and Personal Ads
The following personals were written by our staff for clients in our
matchmaking services. Compare these to
"
"DWF, 44, nice body seeks nice stable man for walks on the beach and sunset dinners"
*gag* That's actually just about 80% of the personal ads that can be found out there.
Would you answer that personal ad?
Or would the following be more apt to "grab" ya:
Copper maned paradox seeks long locked Poetic Savage
Northern female with right number of arms and legs seeks sensitive, floppy-fringed male for
glittery emails and perhaps one of those relationship type of things. Me - geeky, book-lover with a
penchant for gherkins who likes proper music, sunny days, playing bass guitar (badly), humorous
people and purple. You - whatever...Reply with photo appreciated - not that i judge people on their
appearance, oh no, that would be far to shallow of me...
I think that computers only disconnect people
Not really *duh* Submissive male seeks dominant female with extensive knowledge of knots
Hideous-looking, obese, smelly, ill-tempered, lazy, cowardly, chronic, and a complete liar seeks
total opposite.
SWM into chainsaws and hockey masks seek likeminded SWF.
No weirdos, please. Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert,
drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories,
tired sex and Herb Alpert albums. Baby, you are my Tijuana Taxi.
Woke Up on the Wrong Side Reality
Me -- trying to sleep on the bus station bench, pleading with you to give me a cigarette;
you-choking on my odor, tripping over your purse trying to get away; at the last moment, our eyes
meeting. Yours were blue. Can I have a dollar?
Don't Piss Me Off and Read this Ad!
Three toed mango peeler searching for wicked crossdressing infielder. Like screaming and marking
territory with urine? Let's make banana enchiladas together in my bathtub. You bring the salsa.
I could probably conform to your standards
Naw. I like eating mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches in the rain, watching Barney Miller
reruns, peeing on birds in the park and licking strangers on the subway; you eat beets raw, have
climbed Kilimanjaro, and sweat freely and often. Must wear size five shoes.
Single Sock Dreams
There is a little place in the jumbled sock drawer of my heart where you match up all the pairs,
throw out the ones with holes in them, and buy me some of those neat dressy ones with the weird
black and red geometrical designs on them.
Fickle, Whimsical, and a Walking Contradiction
Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering
lovers in sour cream and fish giblet gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic,
preferably hairy and stinky, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No
freaks.
Old Coot Falling and he Can't Keep Up
When I was thirty my dates had to be young, slim, tall, handsome, rich, intelligent. Now I'm 64,
they only have to know how to read and use the telephone! If we dont change direction, we may end
up where we're going!
Intelligence is beauty in it's purest form
Would not mind meeting a woman who knows who she is and where she wants to go in life....not so much in a material
sense as in a spiritual sense. She should have her priorities straight and interested in delving into the bigger
picture. I'm not so much concerned with appearances as I am with chemistry.After all, intelligence
is beauty in it's purest form in my humble opinion.
Submissive male seeks dominant female with extensive knowledge of knots
Hideous-looking, obese, smelly, ill-tempered, lazy, cowardly, chronic, and a complete liar seeks
total opposite for skinny skiing and polar ice cap safaris
SWM into chainsaws and hockey masks seek likeminded SWF.
No weirdos, please. Bitter, unsuccessful
middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year
old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums. Baby,
you are my Tijuana Taxi.
Insinuate the positive?
well lets start out as friends and bring ourselves to a mental & physical crescendo
I desire to meet someone who wants to fly along the edges of life yet is grounded enough to
differentiate what is the right or correct path for us to live from that which has to many
negative's to navigate through.
Take me as I am - Meatmarket tested, Mother approved
I have spent much of my adult life living a bit close to the edge. I believe this has taught
me lessons that might elude more timid souls.Runway models aren't my goal but chemistry is
essential. I clean up very nicely and seek a woman who enjoys looking good in jeans or an evening
dress. She should connect with the basic heights of sensuality. I am passionate so you should
expect passion if the chemistry connects. If you are strong and feminine;
if you are a young enough spirit to challenge my own spirit of adventure but also an old soul who
has collected wisdom to share; if you can look me in the eye and speak your mind (kindly) with the
same passion that you speak your love; if you are not a 'victim' (compassion is wonderful, seeking
pain is not); if you like the open starry sky and soft warm breezes on a summer eve, then we might
get along just fine.
Tap Tap Tap - Is thing on?
Well, you're here, I suppose introductions are in order. Let me tell you a little something about myself. Puppies and little children like
me and I would gladly give my life to see this world happy. My name is "you". The journey begins here...my cyber hand is extended.
Crazy for Love
I am impossible to live with . . . but then isn't everyone? I will drive you crazy . . . but in the
most interesting ways possible. You don't want to get mixed up with me . . . unless you love to
have every one of your certainties challenged and unless you get horny in the face of unimaginable
adventures and unless you're ready to never be bored again.
Raku Ruin
Do you have a dancer's body, a writer's mind, an artist's hands, and an underwear model's face?
You're probably too slick for me. I'm a down-to-earth magician who loves gritty reality far more
than glittery fantasies. Like the skilled Japanese pottery-makers whose work is valued for its
trademark blemishes, I thrive on life's imperfections. I'll love you for who you are, not who you
might be someday.
No. 9
My astrologer has informed me that the gods have finally lifted the hex that's kept me from giving
and getting all the love I deserve. My karmic debts are all paid up, at least the romantic ones! So
what do you say we celebrate? I'm no expert at guiltless fun, but I'm willing to learn at the hands
of a master. If you smell good and know how to make love with your mind as well as your body,
that's the only love spell I need.
Gemini Juggler
Are you a liberal or conservative? A laugher or cryer? A licker or biter? I'm both. Always both and
yet neither. I'm an atheistic lover of many gods. . . a sophisticate with toys in my bathtub . . .
a genuine evil twin who loves to perform missions of mercy. Honey, I always prefer paper and
plastic. In fact, there are so many sides to me that I often find I'm beside myself. Think you can
handle having five lovers in one? Being monogamous with me is just like being totally promiscuous.
Zodiac Killer
We Virgos rarely brag--except when there's something we want. And I want you. So I'm going to tell
you what my astrologer said, which is that we Virgos are the smartest lovers and sexiest geniuses
in the entire zodiac. Now tell me about yourself. Are you a frequent bather with strawberry breath
and jet pilot's eyes? Are you equally at home in silk and grunge, equally knowledgeable about El
Greco and L7? Do you have a slow hand but fast fingers? Know lots of short cuts but have a long
attention span? Then get over here now. I want to bite you with my wit
Power Play
I've got the heart of a mountain-climber and the mind of an entrepreneur. You're a timeless beauty
who thinks the most fun thing that two people can have together is to build things from the ground
up. How about it: Want to work and play together? Want to share the spiritual joys of powerwalking,
powershopping and powermongering? Let's gaze at the bottom line by day and oil up each other's
charisma by night. Please: no dice-rollers, white liars, or compulsive jaywalkers. Must be willing
to lose at chess.
Jungle Love, Welcome Baybee!
Tasmanian devil seeks sleek fox or wily coyote for interspecies communion. It's a jungle out there,
baybee. But I know some great trails, and I ain't afraid of the deep, dark stuff. Put your little
paw in mine and together we'll wade the creeks and scale the cliffs amidst swinging on the vines of
destiny. Are you ready to have even more fun than merely being in love? Two grunts mean "yes,
dear." Two grunts and a howl mean "yes, dear, NOW!" *Schwing*
Mushy unskilled closet Poet seeks inspiration
I have dreamed of you so much that you are no longer real. Is there
still time for me to reach your breathing body, to kiss your mouth
and make your dear voice come alive again? I have dreamed of you so
much that my arms, grown used to being crossed on my chest as I
hugged your shadow, would perhaps not bend to the shape of your body.
For faced with the real form of what has haunted me and governed me
for so many days and years, I would surely become a shadow.
A classic Sag, born in a pig year, I am happy to be me
and this site IS 'under construction' each and every day. Happiness is being in the moment, and having health, peace of mind and love.
Breathing is very, very good, so are flexibility and movement. Joy is found everywhere...in family,
friends, work, and play; snowflakes, clouds and mountains; bears, birds, trees and flowers; really
fine Belgian truffles and an occassional black lager. Ecstacy will be connecting and becoming one
with you.
You Get the Basic Idea, Right?
Just tell about yourself in the most creative, witty way you know how.
You'll be amazed at what you can come up with if you only take the time. But you'll really be amazed
at the response! Good luck, and get dating!
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Free Adult Personals versus Totally Free
Adult Personals?
Defining "FREE" Personal Ad Sites - I'm a firm believer in
online personal ads, and found my true love via Internet dating sites, but
remember the confusion and frustration of clicking on sites claiming Totally
Free Personals only to find out that wasn't the case. For the most
part, the majority of sites claim Free Personals when marketing
which can also be misconstrued as meaning that all site features are free. To
make it clear, let's define the industry standards of the word "Free" being
used.
-
Free Adult Personals - Typically
means that it's free to join, place personal profiles, and free to search the
ads. However, different sites require various paid upgrades to use advanced
site features such as chatrooms and sending messages.
-
Free Adult Dating Site Trials -
Usually means that singles can join the site with no restrictions using all
site functions for a predetermined amount of time. Your profile can remain in
the database, but your downgraded to basic memberships after the trial.
-
Totally Free Adult Personal Ads -
"Should" mean that all site features are available to all singles with no
restrictions, no registration, (to grab that email), and no limits on sending
messages. All of the above listed free personals
sites meet this definition.
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